Mum: Connor, if you come into the bedroom when I’m feeding Lucy and the door is closed again you’ll get a smack on the bottom.
Connor: (crying) Don’t give me a smack on the bottom! I’m only 4.
Mum: What do you have to do so you don’t get a smack on the bottom?
Connor: I have to hide so you can’t find me.
Connor: If a red car comes today it could be the Wiggles, Postman Pat or Aunty Teresa.
Mum: Who do you want it to be?
Connor: Aunty Teresa
Mum: What about the Wiggles?
Connor: They can come too if they like
Connor: I’ve got no jogs on.
Mum: Jogs?
Connor: Yeah, jogs. That’s what Aunty Madonna calls undies.
Connor: When I get bigger muscles than dad I’ll be able to lift this house up and put it in another place.
(Hopefully not into the nearby Pacific Ocean.)
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